just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
