so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
