it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
