Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
It was like getting head from an anaconda
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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