i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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