Sponge bath it is.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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