To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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