Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
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