I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
