Nicole vs. Life
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
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