I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
