Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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