Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
