i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
