After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
you made out with another girl for some wings
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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