She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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