we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
no you cant smoke seaweed
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
