After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
