I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
