Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
