Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
