I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
