UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
