you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
