i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
