He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
