I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize