that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
