Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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