Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize