omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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