Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
