so that wasnt chicken after all
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
there is another microwave in the elevator.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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