I need help removing her.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
