It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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