She's JV to your varsity
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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