so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
