miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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