somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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