DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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