Sponge bath it is.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
