We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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