i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
