this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
