My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
