Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
