those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
