porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
