Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
