Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
