you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
