Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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