what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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