Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
