he looks like a really good dad on facebook
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
