Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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