fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
