I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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