Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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