Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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