she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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