I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
