Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
