Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
