you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize