if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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