i think i have herpe
just one?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
