Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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