Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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